100% to all of this, but especially the nagging feeling that my refusal to walk a step or wash a dish without a podcast in my ears is...not great for me. I love podcasts! I got to know your work through Forever 35, which I've loved since day 1! But I do want to moderate my intake, and remember that dancing to 90s pop in my kitchen while I do dishes often feels better than another information hit, and has the bonus of drawing my teen and preteen out to see what the heck is going on. Sometimes they dance, too!
I LOVE podcasts, but when it dawned on me that I literally can't do anything without one in my ear I started to try to be more curious about why that is. It's a work in progress for sure.
Same for me about podcasts. I have pared them way back and force myself to do the dishes or go to the bathroom , for Pete’s sake, without, without a podcast. It’s hard but I’m feeling better. I’m also scheduling phone calls with friends instead of texting them all day long. The struggle is real, y’all.
The habit I've been most worried about is looking at my phone when I'm around my kids. It's terrible and sends them a terrible message about what's worth my attention! I've been trying to leave my phone in another room while they're home and awake, but it isn't always easy because we'll be talking about school and activities and I'll be reminded that I need to text this other parent or send this PTA-related email or add this thing to the calendar. Trying to get better about just writing it down on paper and dealing with it later!
The thing that's been most disturbing about it is how hard it is. I can FEEL that phone in the other room. Sometimes I'll go to the bathroom just so I can peek at it. That feels so disturbing to me. But I'm hoping that the longer I stick with this, the easier it'll get.
Right there with you. My attention is GONE. And the shift seems to have happened fairly recently. Or maybe it's more noticeable and distressing now because the actual content I'm scrolling is mostly garbage. Social media is no longer fun, or an escape, or a place to find connection or meaning. It used to be, at least some of the time. Now I'm scrolling longer and more frequently to scrounge up even the tiniest morsels of joy.
It took me literally months to finish due to my phone-addled brain, but I highly recommend Jenny O'Dell's prescient book "How to Do Nothing: Resisting the Attention Economy." She wrote a follow-up book since that came out in 2019, but haven't yet read that yet ... due to this broken brain I'm dealing with. 😭
Thank you for this! I spent a good 4-6 weeks in the winter unable to focus on a book; and I'm a huge reader. In the fall I had reclaimed my workday background noise from constant NPR and now ONLY listen to music. Last night my phone slipped out of my pocket in my 2 year old's bed so I went without all night. I watched a show without distraction (!) and then read for a few minutes and went to sleep. This morning I walked the dog with just the noise of the songbirds in my ears. I may need to do that more.
I deactivated Instagram yesterday, which was my last social media account. I’m sad the days of using it to just see friends and family daily lives is over - but it is now all ads (true ad or paid sponsorships or businesses). I’m feeling good about it!
Thank you for sharing this list. Between LA fires and working at a non-profit that is a potential target for the current admin. I’ve been struggling. I have to keep up to date with the shitstorm for work, so off hours, I don’t read the news or listen to podcasts. Also cut out all social media as it is the only way I can stay sane.
Besides committing to a daily yoga practice for the month of April, I’m doing a dance aerobics class and it is the best. If anyone is in LA and wants to join me at Pony Sweat, I highly recommend.
I feel all of these sentiments. I am not a Lent observer but took it upon myself to mostly break up with social media during this reflective span this year and touch grass instead, and it has been more life giving than I could have anticipated.
Kate, you aren't alone! I identify as being an avid reader and public library patron my whole life. Read and logged up to 70 books/year on GoodReads prior to giving birth to my now-6-year-old child. I have t-shirts and sweatshirts with witty reading puns...all the things. But pandemic + recent loss of both of my parents + current times = I have no attention span to read an actual book. And I don't have Facebook, tiktok, Instagram, etc...I never downloaded or signed up for them, and I STILL can't read a book! Guilty of getting sucked into YouTube content, though. I always feel like I "should" be listening to my long list of podcasts or reading saved tabs on my phone while walking or commuting. It does feel very sad, disappointing, frustrating, heartbreaking. As if a big chunk of my identity is gone. Like you, I'm on a mission to try to retrain that part of my brain, and find myself struggling. Good luck to us all!
Thank you for sharing! I have been off IG for about 6 months (I’m so damn proud of myself hehe) but I still spend as much time on my phone just fucking around on whatever I can find lol. I mean, you know you’re desperate for that dopamine hit when you find yourself looking at Venmo transactions and LinkedIn for no good reason. Love your list and stick to it! You’re the best around.
This post and comments are resonating with me deeply. I've had a string of several months of going to be at or after midnight and it's crushing me. I even make it to bed at 1045/11 and then just scroll. It's pointless. I also have the brick, that thing is great. I also charge my phone in another room when I have the will power to do it.
I've been watching Netflix like all the time, doing skin care, in the shower, working on anything, folding laundry. I need to get back to the art of single tasking and without entertainment! I love the walk without a phone (although I like to track my walks on my peloton app) but I have taken walks without putting headphones on and experiencing nature.
I also need to put down the phone when my toddler son is around. He's now in the habit of picking up mine or my husband's cellphone and bringing it to us and it's kind of cute and sad, but mostly sad. I need to excited about being blissfully unaware of what's going on with the world (especially the news) because what is more important is what's inside my home (both my house and my heart/mind).
Thank you Kate for the gentle reminder and loving conversation!
100% to all of this, but especially the nagging feeling that my refusal to walk a step or wash a dish without a podcast in my ears is...not great for me. I love podcasts! I got to know your work through Forever 35, which I've loved since day 1! But I do want to moderate my intake, and remember that dancing to 90s pop in my kitchen while I do dishes often feels better than another information hit, and has the bonus of drawing my teen and preteen out to see what the heck is going on. Sometimes they dance, too!
I LOVE podcasts, but when it dawned on me that I literally can't do anything without one in my ear I started to try to be more curious about why that is. It's a work in progress for sure.
Same for me about podcasts. I have pared them way back and force myself to do the dishes or go to the bathroom , for Pete’s sake, without, without a podcast. It’s hard but I’m feeling better. I’m also scheduling phone calls with friends instead of texting them all day long. The struggle is real, y’all.
The habit I've been most worried about is looking at my phone when I'm around my kids. It's terrible and sends them a terrible message about what's worth my attention! I've been trying to leave my phone in another room while they're home and awake, but it isn't always easy because we'll be talking about school and activities and I'll be reminded that I need to text this other parent or send this PTA-related email or add this thing to the calendar. Trying to get better about just writing it down on paper and dealing with it later!
The thing that's been most disturbing about it is how hard it is. I can FEEL that phone in the other room. Sometimes I'll go to the bathroom just so I can peek at it. That feels so disturbing to me. But I'm hoping that the longer I stick with this, the easier it'll get.
I know the exact FEELING you're talking about. It's a legitimate physical and mental craving. It freaks me out.
SO freaky
Right there with you. My attention is GONE. And the shift seems to have happened fairly recently. Or maybe it's more noticeable and distressing now because the actual content I'm scrolling is mostly garbage. Social media is no longer fun, or an escape, or a place to find connection or meaning. It used to be, at least some of the time. Now I'm scrolling longer and more frequently to scrounge up even the tiniest morsels of joy.
It took me literally months to finish due to my phone-addled brain, but I highly recommend Jenny O'Dell's prescient book "How to Do Nothing: Resisting the Attention Economy." She wrote a follow-up book since that came out in 2019, but haven't yet read that yet ... due to this broken brain I'm dealing with. 😭
Totally feel this -- scrolling for longer, but getting less out of it. I will check out this book!
Thank you for this! I spent a good 4-6 weeks in the winter unable to focus on a book; and I'm a huge reader. In the fall I had reclaimed my workday background noise from constant NPR and now ONLY listen to music. Last night my phone slipped out of my pocket in my 2 year old's bed so I went without all night. I watched a show without distraction (!) and then read for a few minutes and went to sleep. This morning I walked the dog with just the noise of the songbirds in my ears. I may need to do that more.
This all sounds like amazing progress, and is inspiration for me :)
I deactivated Instagram yesterday, which was my last social media account. I’m sad the days of using it to just see friends and family daily lives is over - but it is now all ads (true ad or paid sponsorships or businesses). I’m feeling good about it!
I totally get this -- even when I am on IG I feel like I can't find what I want to be looking at?
fuck this list is so inspiring, thank you for sharing it
Aw! It's my pleasure! I appreciate you reading.
Thank you for sharing this list. Between LA fires and working at a non-profit that is a potential target for the current admin. I’ve been struggling. I have to keep up to date with the shitstorm for work, so off hours, I don’t read the news or listen to podcasts. Also cut out all social media as it is the only way I can stay sane.
Besides committing to a daily yoga practice for the month of April, I’m doing a dance aerobics class and it is the best. If anyone is in LA and wants to join me at Pony Sweat, I highly recommend.
I have done Pony Sweat a couple of times and really enjoyed it. Dancing is such a balm.
This is wonderful! I need to adapt for myself. Thanks for sharing!!
My pleasure!
I feel all of these sentiments. I am not a Lent observer but took it upon myself to mostly break up with social media during this reflective span this year and touch grass instead, and it has been more life giving than I could have anticipated.
That is lovely.
Kate, you aren't alone! I identify as being an avid reader and public library patron my whole life. Read and logged up to 70 books/year on GoodReads prior to giving birth to my now-6-year-old child. I have t-shirts and sweatshirts with witty reading puns...all the things. But pandemic + recent loss of both of my parents + current times = I have no attention span to read an actual book. And I don't have Facebook, tiktok, Instagram, etc...I never downloaded or signed up for them, and I STILL can't read a book! Guilty of getting sucked into YouTube content, though. I always feel like I "should" be listening to my long list of podcasts or reading saved tabs on my phone while walking or commuting. It does feel very sad, disappointing, frustrating, heartbreaking. As if a big chunk of my identity is gone. Like you, I'm on a mission to try to retrain that part of my brain, and find myself struggling. Good luck to us all!
Thank you for sharing this! I appreciate the solidarity. xo
Thank you for sharing! I have been off IG for about 6 months (I’m so damn proud of myself hehe) but I still spend as much time on my phone just fucking around on whatever I can find lol. I mean, you know you’re desperate for that dopamine hit when you find yourself looking at Venmo transactions and LinkedIn for no good reason. Love your list and stick to it! You’re the best around.
I love this and relate so much! I’m recommitting to less phone use as well. Sending you self kindness and peace as we try and try again!
This post and comments are resonating with me deeply. I've had a string of several months of going to be at or after midnight and it's crushing me. I even make it to bed at 1045/11 and then just scroll. It's pointless. I also have the brick, that thing is great. I also charge my phone in another room when I have the will power to do it.
I've been watching Netflix like all the time, doing skin care, in the shower, working on anything, folding laundry. I need to get back to the art of single tasking and without entertainment! I love the walk without a phone (although I like to track my walks on my peloton app) but I have taken walks without putting headphones on and experiencing nature.
I also need to put down the phone when my toddler son is around. He's now in the habit of picking up mine or my husband's cellphone and bringing it to us and it's kind of cute and sad, but mostly sad. I need to excited about being blissfully unaware of what's going on with the world (especially the news) because what is more important is what's inside my home (both my house and my heart/mind).
Thank you Kate for the gentle reminder and loving conversation!